Just as newspapers and magazines often have to print corrections to information, I was strongly encouraged to correct my last story as well.  Tony wants to be sure that you know that the Wednesday prior to his great illness, he expressed to me that he was coming down with something.  My response was, “No, you’re not.  You’re fine.”  I was proved wrong.

Also, in a previous post I mentioned that I am now the “in case of emergency” for Ruth’s precious girls.  However, she and her husband have been used as my in case of emergency FIRST.  While I was away, Tony needed transportation to and from the doctor, and I even had to use another couple to pick up his medication and check in on him from time to time.  How thankful I am for good friends!

That was a phrase I repeated over and over last Thursday night. I couldn’t have planned a more inconvenient time for Tony to get oh so ill. He awoke Thursday morning with a sore throat and mildly achey all over. I encouraged him to go to the doctor since the flu is so quickly spreading right now. He assured me he would be fine and he did slightly improve throughout the day. However, by 4 pm, he was feeling quite terrible, and beginning at 6, he couldn’t stop throwing up. He was in the worst, lowest state I had ever seen him, and the sounds he was making were indescribable. And so I began… “In sickness and in health…” I will stand by my man.

During all of this, I was getting ready (doing laundry, packing, etc.) for our annual high school retreat. I was leaving at 7 am Friday morning to set up. When I had gotten home from my ballet classes at 8 on Thursday, I had asked if he wanted me to find a clinic to take him to. It took him until 10:30 pm to become desperate for something, anything, to take away the misery. By that time, all that was open was the emergency room. I will admit that there are times that I mock the germ-a-phobe in my husband, but on this particular evening in the ER, I’ve never been so terrified to touch anything or even breathe in the air that was being shared between myself and so many sickly people.

I think we were finally called back to our very special curtain-enclosed 6 x 10 ft area around 2 am. I silently repeated in my exhaustion… “In sickness and in health…” His flu test came back negative, but they put him on an iv due to dehydration and gave him some meds to ease the pain and calm his nausea. I tried to find comfort in my hard, straight-back chair, and was able to close my eyes for a while, but the crying, moans, interesting conversations, and cart wheeling remained constant and prohibited me from completely falling into my REM. The doctors released Tony around 4:30 am, and we headed home. I did sleep in a little… getting a good 1.5 hours of sleep before my weekend with high school students.

I couldn’t imagine missing the weekend with our students, but it was even more difficult to leave my invalid home alone. I knew there was nothing I could really do for him apart from getting liquids and making sure he could make it to the bed, recliner, bathroom, and back. Again remembering… “In sickness and in health…” I am very thankful that it was only a viral infection, and nothing more serious. I think my main concern was that I was unable to fulfill my wifely compassionate care-taking, and it merely came out as insensitivity and frustration.  I was again reminded not only of my vows, but also of my selfishness and that I am now on a jouney WITH a wonderful partner.  For rich or poor, in sickness and in health, when times seem just right, and when we couldn’t be more irritating to one another… we’re parners… walking this road together… hand in hand.  How thankful I am also of a God who not only commands me to love, but shows me how.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed… obviously… you can read from a couple of posts prior to this. But my feelings of anxiety are not always due to tasks or circumstances. Sometimes I feel like even being a Christian is “too much.” Sometimes the RULES of holy living can be pretty daunting. Colossians tells us to put to death sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, idolotry, anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, and lies. We should clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love. And love in itself is described in 1 Corinthians 13 as being patient, kind, humble, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth; always protecting, trusting, hoping, persevering, and never fails. I look at the ten commandments and think I’ve got those covered (naturally, I’m not carving any wooden or golden image to worship, not going to murder, I have no desire to commit adultry, and I’m probably not going to steal any time soon), but keeping God first always, revering his name, keeping Sundays for worship, rest, and renewal, and not coveting what other people have can even be challenging. Whew! I’m so imperfect and have so much to change and improve! It’s enough at times to leave me a little hopeless and wanting to respond with, “Forget it; it’s impossible for me to live up to all that.”

However, I’ve come to realize in the last few days that it’s not about me. It’s not about my power, or me “upping” my game and trying even harder. Because of Christ, I’ve been given a new LIFE (2 Corinthians 5:17). And that life is meant to be lived in the FULL (John 10:10). In my new life, I am created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:24). What, me, holy and righteous? Absolutely! when I accept the LIFE Christ has given me and live ACCORDING to who I am. I will continue to mess up and be imperfect. I will continue to say the wrong thing and think about and do things I shouldn’t. But I can rest in knowing that God forgives those things and forgets. And where I am imperfect, He is MIGHTY. Where I can’t, He is ABLE. His GRACE is SUFFICIENT… period. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells me that I can boast in my weaknesses, for it is those moments that the POWER of Christ is made known.

Lois Evans said, “We obey God so that we can cooperate with His work within us.” If I simply live life according to the CAUSE of Christ, my decisions will then be dictated by that. And what REST I find in that! It’s not about what I can and can’t do. It’s not about how I’m good or weak at something. It’s about accepting LIFE and going forward with POWER because of who God created me to be. If I am reflecting Christ, I will be loving earnestly, encouraging, showing humility, not judging, and fleeing temptation… because it’s not about me.

Last night during my 8-10 year old ballet class, one of my precious girls responded to some question that I had asked with, “Because you’re older…” I have no recollection of where that came from, and I know she wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. It became even funnier a few minutes later when I was encouraging them to go home and practice what we had learned so that they could help me remember next week. The same girl responded again with, “Because you’re older…” and we all had a big laugh.

My friend Emily just posted on her blog her list of things that make her realize she’s getting older. They are a bit different from mine, but the realization is coming just as quickly for me. For example, she has a dog (I’m really not a pet person) and will be celebrating 8 years with her husband this May (as you know, I haven’t even hit the 8 months mark yet). We are both in process of preparing for our 10 year high school reunion… which, yes, is very weird. We both own a home, cars, have to balance housework with errands, jobs, paying bills, planning meals and going grocery shopping… and the list can go on and on. I have to keep up with changing air filters and spraying the house for bugs (ok, that’s really Tony’s job around the house, but I help “remind” him). We have to be more responsible with purchases… just last weekend we thought we’d check out some new couches for the living room - you know, just beging pricing and seeing what’s out there. Yeah, nothing in our budget right now, so we’ll keep lounging on our 20 year old hand-me-down furniture quite happily. We did immediately fall in love with a piece of artwork in the furniture store. I think we sat and gazed at it for 15 -20 minutes, trying to figure out where we could hang it. Unfortunately, because of my love of art, I already have several pieces occupying my walls, so there just isn’t a place for it. We even toyed with the idea of purchasing it and keeping it in storage until we get a bigger house (at least 5 years down the road, F.Y.I.). It was difficult to walk away, but we had to make an ADULT decision. I take a disappointed deep breath even now as I think of how wonderful it was and how perfectly the colors fit our home. Ahh… responsibility.

And, I have now officially become someone’s “In case of emergency” person. I’m honored, and realize yet again that it’s “because I’m older.” My dear friend Ruth informed me that during a doctor’s visit with her youngest, Madie, she completed that section of her doctor’s form with my name and information. Ahh… responsibility. I feel very priviledged to be that person in the Meyer family. I gladly accept.

So although Emily ended her list with the acknowledgement that the Karate Kid (a favorite movie of hers while growing up) is now a classic played on AMC… I might choose to end my list with the fact that the Cosby Show, Full House, Saved by the Bell, and Home Improvement are now the old reruns on Nick At Nite. Ahh… the good old days. What fun to look back, and what excitement for all that’s still ahead that will come “because I’m older…”

that all I really do is close my eyes and hope to keep holding on until I’m through. “Through what?” you may ask. Well, this is one of those phases that everything is happening at once. I think most everything we could have planned in our department, as well as the church as a whole, has been planned in these two weeks. We begin tomorrow night with our big outreach events for middle and high school (first time to have them both on the same night). Move on to Friday, when we will be attending Romance and Roses, a great “date night” event by our marriage and family ministry. Sunday through Tuesday is the Sacred Gathering - a call to fasting and prayer - for our church. Next Wednesday will kick off a new worship series for the students, and then next weekend we take our high school students on their spring retreat. I have tickets to shows at TPAC both weekends, and Tony and I will be starting our own small group for the first time. (Also throw in that it will be Tony and my first Valentine’s Day to figure out how to spend together as a married couple.) All of these things are things that I’ve been anxiously awaiting. They are all wonderful and I can’t wait to be a part of each one; however, a little bit of stress is coming with the collison of them happening all at once.

But, as I sit here at my desk (at work)… eating my third meal here today… I feel as if I’m going to make it. I don’t think I’ll have to close my eyes. I sure don’t want to miss the enjoyment and how God is going to move over the next several days. Galatians 6:9 yet again reminds me to keep doing good, for there will be a reward in the end. Colossians 3:23 and 1 Corinthians 10:31 tell me to work with all of my heart at whatever I do for GOD… I’m made for His purpose, His glory. So I’ll take a deep breath, shut down my computer, head to the YMCA for my 2 mile run, and then to the dance studio to teach my weekly classes.

I’ve realized over the last several years that now having a job where I sit the majority of the time at a computer is a big difference from attending several dance classes a day while in college… also factor in having to walk across campus from class to class. Although I still have to get up to walk to another room for copies, cutting paper, or looking for needed supplies, my physical activity just isn’t the same. I was emailed this link today, and think this might be the answer to my less athletic days. Check it out…

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/01/hawaii_chair.php

***** I give five stars to the High School Musical tour at TPAC. For Christmas, Tony and I got tickets for his two younger sisters, and Friday night the two of them and I enjoyed a fun girls’ night out. Although it may seem impossible, I actually have NOT seen the movie(s). So, I was excited to see what all the talk has been about. We were on the absolute top row, but I don’t believe that there is one bad seat in the theatre. The girls said that they enjoyed it more than the movie, and were amazed with the set and how creatively and how many times it changed (as was I). The actors did a very good job, songs were quite catchy, and it was fun to experience the entertainment of all the kids sitting around us. I’m excited to have sisters to do things with, and look forward to many more times like this. Now I have to rent the movie(s)!

this morning. For those of you who know Tony, this will come as no surprise. For those of you who don’t, let me just say, “He is head over heels for coffee.” Sometimes it’s a close call between me and the beans. The first thing he does in the morning is walk with eyes half opened, feeling his way along the wall, to the coffee pot to get his first cup. We cannot drive by a Starbucks without stopping. Sometimes we make our eating, shopping, or driving decisions based on where a Starbucks is located. He confessed to me just tonight that there are some mornings that he becomes bitter at me for the mug of coffee I take to work in the mornings because that makes 2 less cups of coffee from the pot that he can enjoy. So now that you understand a little bit of his life-long love affair, you will have a better feel for how he might have responded this morning to a strangely quieter than normal grinding of his automatic grind and brew. The bean grinding blade broke, and all he was served was hot water. I was impressed by his calmness, but I know he was disappointed.

When I came home from church this afternoon, I found him waiting for me in the kitchen, wide eyed, and almost lost. He asked, “What am I supposed to do without football?” Ever since we’ve been married (oh, so long, I know), football has been on. His Sunday ritual is to vege out in his recliner and watch as many games as possible (sometimes one would be on his computer screen while the other played on the tv). So, being this was his first football-free afternoon, he was confused as what to do for 6 plus hours. His solution: MUST BUY A GAMING SYSTEM. We decided on a Wii, but, of course, they are obsolete. We decided, nonetheless to spend the afternoon going from store to store to see if we happened to be lucky. I mean, what else could we possibly have done with our afternoon? We very quickly became discouraged at the impossible task of finding a Wii today, so we moved on to the search for a new, must be just the right kind but not outrageously expensive, coffee maker. (Please know that this is our 4th one to occupy the counter since we’ve been married… again, oh, so long. The first - mine - was naturally not good enough; you had to push the start button yourself. The second - his - was free from an internet monthly coffee deal, and didn’t take long to poop out. The third - a special, most treasured birthday gift - unfortunately lived up to it’s poor reviews.) We began at Mimi’s Cafe for lunch, but the wait was too long, so we began our quest at Best Buy (where we purchased a hook up for my ipod to the stereo for dance) and then settled at Red Robin due to the fact that I was about to eat my arm. We then moved on to the mall, Linens-N-Things (where we got a couple of glasses and gadgets on clearance), to Sam’s (where we purchased Salmon and a 4 Berry Sunday for a snack), to Kohl’s, and then a quick stop at home to drop off the Salmon and take a bathroom break. We then headed to Bed Bath and Beyond, back to Best Buy, moved on to HHGregg, then back to the mall. From there we visited Target (where we got a fun tshirt for a gift-loving friend), went across the street to Walmart, and then again to Kohl’s… where we found coffee maker #4 and some new sweat pants for myself (which will be returned tomorrow due to a poor size choice and rediculous low, low, low, don’t know how it covers anything rise. Side note - Tony’s response to the trial wear was, “Wow, so I guess it’s time to hit the gym, huh?” Yes, be encouraged he has apologized, and I have giggled at his ignorance of appropriate things to say in those situations.)

I’m sure this will not be a normal Sunday afternoon, but we enjoyed it. I definitely couldn’t begin to count the number of times we got in and out of the car. Tony has now taken close to an hour to read about and set up his new toy, and then maybe I’ll have space to make dinner. So, despite my hopes against it, I do believe that video games are in our future. But, a boy has to have something to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon, right?

We made it through now day three of recovery.  By we, I really mean Tony has made it through.  He was home by himself all day and most of the evening.  He began working because deadlines couldn’t be put on hold, but I think he was going through computer withdrawls and secretly enjoyed a little bit of normal day life.  He is desperate for something of substane to eat… you know, something he can actually chew, not just drink through a straw or slurp from a spoon.

Although the pain meds have hindered him from feeling quite like himself, he has become full of love and expression and is constantly saying nice things to me, so that part I’ve enjoyed.  I did threaten to punch him in the jaw if he continued to discuss blood and oozing grossness.  I know, I know, not a nice response to all his lovingly kind words, but I wanted him to know I was serious.  I would never, of course, do such a horrible thing to my invalid.

Well, we made it through the first day.  Tony’s extraction was first thing in the morning, and only took 30 minutes.  They wheeled him out to the car in a wheelchair and we were on our way back home by 9:00.  I think we had the same conversation about gauze and prescriptions and how he got his coat on about 10 times in an hour.  It was very amusing.  I did throw a few different answers in there just to see if he would notice, but he didn’t.  He watched hours of “Dirty Jobs” and “Everybody Loves Raymond”; tried to slurp down some chicken noodle soup with no success over the noodles; and has found that Ensure really isn’t so bad.  My mom came and took care of him while I went back to work in the afternoon, and said he was a very good patient.  I agree.  He’s very easy to take care of… of course, it’s pretty hard not to have compassion when you can tell that he’s very obviously in pain and uncomfortable.  We’ll see how today goes.