Last week I had intentionally put on my calendar a day of rest (Friday) and a day with my husband (Saturday). Since Christmas, Tony and I had just being going and going… and although it has been fun and we’ve done some great things, it had been a while since (1) I had some time to myself and (2) Tony and I had a relaxing day together. I had been looking forward to it all week and even though some things were hard, I was commiting to saying “no” to doing anything else. I watched tv, did some laundry, gave myself a pedicure, looked through magazines for new recipes, planned meals, cleaned a few things, read and just chilled. I even got to take over the recliner - Tony’s throne. Friday went as planned, but Tony ended up having to work all day and well into the evening on Saturday. We also parted ways and did different things on Sunday. Although that just meant that my “me time” expanded, by Sunday evening, I was longing for some quality time with my hubby. So, he vowed to take me on a date on Monday night after work.

As I drove to meet him, I realized I still got butterflies in my stomach as I thought about what we were going to do, what I wanted to talk about. I know we’re still new to marriage, but it’s so much fun to get excited about seeing each other and spend an evening out of the ordinary, a special date. We went to Bonefish Grill for dinner, one of our favorites. Then we went to see “Marley and Me.” I enjoyed it more than I thought. Although I’m not a pet person and the story revolved around the dog, it was a very sweet story. I was also impressed at the choices that were made: a couple made a choice to bring home, care for and withstand a very rambunctious (but precious) dog, a wife made a choice to stay home with her children, a husband made a choice to sacrifice for his family, a couple made a choice to stay together no matter what - in good times and bad. I give the whole evening a 10. I appreciate Tony so much for all he does and making me feel special. He’s a pretty fun guy!

What do you do with frustrations? What do you do when you don’t get something you really want (anything from clothes… to a trip… to concert tickets/restaurant reservations… to a husband… to a baby)? What do you do when you’re let down by a friend, family member or co-worker? What do you do when you have to do something you don’t want to? What do you do when you want to respond in a way you know isn’t respectful or nice? What do you do when you feel attacked? What do you do when you’re annoyed, aggrivated and disappointed?

They are inescapable. Frustrations are going to come because we’re just not going to get everything we want - for one reason or another. People will let us down because we are imperfect. We will have to work when we’re tired, help when we’re lazy, obey rules when we want to rebel. We do have to be nice in times that it takes all the energy in our being not to scream, and we will be required to defend ourselves at times. So when these inevitible circumstances arise, how do we respond in a way that proves we desire to be like Christ?

God’s thoughts are not our thoughts… they are higher, better, wise and more than we can imagine (Isaiah 55:9). Believing that He’s bigger and greater than we, we have a mighty goal to pursue. And in pursuit of being holy as He is holy, we’re asked to respond to these disppointments in love.

In love? Why? Because 1 Corinthians 13 states that we may have talents, we may have knowledge, we may believe in God, we may be generous and do good things… but if we don’t have love, all of that is meaningless. This is a love that is greater than anything we’ve ever experienced here on earth… it’s better than LIFE (Psalm 63:3). This love calls us to be patient and kind. It asks us to not envy or gloat. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It does not delight in evil but gets excited with what is right, good and true. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres… and best of all… it never fails.

So as I’ve been frustrated this week… at having to go to work when I’d rather lay on the couch, watch tv and just have some time to myself becasue I’ve been so busy the past few weeks, I’m reminded not to be selfish. As I’ve been let down by a friend, I’m reminded to be patient and kind. As I’ve been upset and wanting to talk about someone to a friend, I’m reminded to not be rude and to not delight in doing what is wrong (gossip). As I’ve wanted to respond to these situations in the way that “feels best” by throwing up my hands, saying ugly things and giving up on what’s right, I’m reminded that these responses of love offer protection from guilt, hope when I’m weary, strength to persevere.

No, it’s not easy. Yes, I’ve failed greatly and too many times to count. But I trust in what is right and take hope in knowing that God’s ways are higher than mine. Because “as the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and fourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is [God’s] word that goes out from [his] mouth: It will not return to [him] empty, but will accomplish what [he] desires and achieve the purpose for which [he] sent it.” (Isaiah 55:9-11)

Here are some things I’ve learned from my mom over the last 28 years…

(1) Always take time to put on lipstick, mascara and earrings before going out (anywhere).

(2) Be sure that when you have a hard day, feel sick or have a test or something important coming up to wear something nice - it will help you feel better and boost your confidence.

(3) Feel free to make up your own words to express frustration rather than using “those bad words” (as she calls any curse word). Her favorite is “Oh piddle!”

(4) Cook with color. Everything on your plate should be a different color and the presentation makes the meal 10 times better.

(5) Saying you’re “bored” is equivelent to saying a four-letter-word. There’s ALWAYS something to do: a game to play, a person to call, a letter to be written, something to clean, flowers to plant, somewhere to go, something to prepare for, a book to read… her list could go on forever.

(6) When you’re in an argument with someone, 50% of it is your fault, so be willing to apologize and compromise. Anytime I’ve complained about someone, her first response is always, “Well, what did YOU do?”

(7) Love and respect your husband. He needs your support at all times.

(8) Laugh a lot. Everything is not a big deal, so learn not to sweat the small stuff.

(9) Keep learning. Take a class, go to museums, go to the theatre, read books, ask questions.

(10) Serve. You are better than no-one… it’s not about you. Put others before yourself and be willing to share your time, thoughts, energy and posessions.

(11) Work hard and do your best at whatever you do.

(12) Value your family. They care about you more than you know. Time spent with them is priceless.

(13) God is most important. Nothing will replace your relationship with Him and what you do for Him is all that matters.

A lot of these are things that she said over and over and over growing up, but all have been modeled through her actions. She has been who has shown me how to be a student, teacher, leader, friend, daughter, servant, wife and someday mother. She has absolutely driven me crazy at times (as I have her), but she is by far one of my greatest heros. She has faults as we all do, but who wants their hero to be perfect? If she were, I would be unable to relate to her and living to her standards would be unattainable. I’m blessed she’s my mom.

I have heard it said that we are constantly cycling through three phases of life: (1) we are experiencing a storm in our life, (2) we are coming out of a storm or (3) we are getting ready to enter a storm. So what are these storms? They are whatever make your circumstances challenging, sorrowful or desperate. They are financial issues, sickness, death, loss of a job, break-up with significant other or friend… whatever ventures to strain your joy and hope. The length of each phase is never known, and although we would prefer to be in the phase of no storm, it is always assured that another one will come.

Currently I’m in the phase that’s waiting for the storm. Obviously not in the way that I wait in excited expectation like for a birthday, Christmas, special event or even the weekend… but in an active expectation that one day another storm will come… and I want to be prepared. I don’t want to miss the blessings of today, I don’t want to take for granted everything I have and I don’t want to forget the thousands of prayers that have been heard and answered. I’m so thankful for my life, my faithful friends, my job, my loving family, my wonderful husband, my home. Like everyone else I’ve shared in the challenges of looking for a good job, losing a loved one, picking up the pieces of a broken heart, battling habitual sin, being downcast and overwhelmed for no reason, and so much more. I listen to stories every day of storms people are going through and I’m not naive enough to think that I am exempt from struggle and heartache forever… it’s just a part of the cycle.

So how do I plan to prepare? How do you prepare for something that you don’t know the time or appearance? How do you prepare your response for something that could be mildly or devastatingly challenging to handle? Draw near to God (James 4:8). I know that the best thing for me to do whether in good times or bad is to be near to God. He has the answers, he knows the plans (Jeremiah 29:11). When I am uncertain, He is sure. When I am weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9). When I am needy, He is comforting (Psalm 119). When I fail, He is forever faithful (Psalm 33:4 and 36:5). And I am sure that in times of trouble, the God of hope will fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in Him, so that I may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (adapted from Romans 15:13). And with Him near, I can face whatever may come.

Keep in mind, these were merely my observations. Generalizations, absolutely. I’ve not been everywhere in America, nor did I visit everywhere in Paris; but, these are some things I did see that I wish were at least a part of my everyday life here… in the great Murfreesboro/Smyrna/Nashville, TN.

(1) We are lazy. This is really nothing new, just a reminder. Tony and I walked everywhere (many times 30-45 minutes to a destination and everywhere in between). Everyone walked everywhere. There were taxis, lots of traffic and a train available for super distances, but as a whole, the primary mode of transportation were feet. If only we were set up better with sidewalks for safe walking or lanes in the street for bikes… Granted I couldn’t understand if anyone was complaining in their native tongue, but no one seemed to be exhaused or annoyed at having to walk. One of the first things I heard after arriving in Philidelphia on our way home was from a lady walking in the airport behind us, “Ugh. Where’s one of those cart things to take us to our gate!?” Which brings me to my next observation…

(2) Out of thousands of people I saw each day, probably 5 (or some really, really, really small number) were overwheight. What a country we are that struggles with health. Up-size, Biggie-size, huge portions and minor physical activity are what cater to this challenge. Faster, easier, bigger might as well be our motto. Fast food full of fat, calories, grease (I know, and lots of yum) are on every corner here. There are 2 McDonald’s within a mile of my house on the same street! Tony and I definitely ate well during our visit, but the portions were perfect. I was always full but never had the overwhelmingly uncomfortable bloating sensation of eating too much. There wasn’t a lot saturated in butter or oil and it seemed all of it was really fresh. Sodas also seemed to be the beverage least ordered at any place and we didn’t really see many people walking with food or drink in hand.

(3) People were well-dressed. Not necessarily in expensive attire, but they were prepared to be seen in public. If only I could show girls (and many women) how much nicer and more confident women looked dressed in items other than their sweats and pajamas…  those are for lounging at home or sleeping in the bed. I love a good t-shirt and jeans, but taking a few more moments to put myself together in the mornings changed my attitude about the day and my activities. I felt more ready for whatever may come and whoever might see me. I think it even gave me a little more energy and enthusiasm to greet the day.

(4) Back to the food… we don’t really EXPERIENCE our food. Meals never seemed to be a rush or afterthought for people. It was a time to relax, talk to whoever you were with and actually taste each bite. Whether we were in a corner cafe or a nicer restaurant for dinner, the presentation and service was always great. And man, did we eat some great stuff! I of course HAD to have authentic french onion soup, french fries, french bread, croissants and crepes… and they were spectacular. Obviously the food was one of my favorite things about the trip.

(5) People were interested in who they were with. Very seldom did we see someone walking, waiting, eating or driving with cell phone in hand and in use. People were actully talking to whoever they were with! They were admiring the sights! They were doing one thing at a time… Oh that we could learn to become less dependent on technology for communication and enjoy the company of who we are with for the moment. I definitely enjoyed and appreciated consistent face to face time with my husband without texting, email or call interruptions.

And so some resolutions for my 2009 based on what I observed in Paris:

DO more (I’m working on an exercise plan with a friend tonight); make healthier food choices (and be content with smaller portions); take a few extra moments in the morning to put myself together (included in being ready and confident for the day is being sure I spend quality time with God in the mornings); enjoy the presence and conversation of who I’m with without the cell phone interrupting (I’m sure there will be an occational time for exceptions).

Since it’s been seven months since you last heard from me, here’s some quick things that happened…

June: We had our largest student camp since I’ve been at FBC Smyrna… lots of stress prior, lots of fun and success during, lots of recouperating after.

July: I moved up in the world of technology to switching completely over to Mac at work (and begining to use Illustrator for graphics and such); I changed my calendar from a 5 pound binder that I lugged around everywhere to Google calendar online; I changed to ATT for the iphone. Tony also took me to Chicago to see Colbie Caillat and John Mayer - great show.

August: Tony and I had a really fun and relaxing vacation with two of our best friends in Jamaica. I turned two years shy of 30 on my birthday and Tony took me to San Diego to celebrate and show me where he spent a lot of time while growing up. It was also my 4 year anniversary at FBC.

September: Although this is my first year to not be teaching dance weekly in many years, I am working with a friend who is the dance coach for Roy Waldron Elementary’s dance team. I’m teaching them technique once a month along with my super assistant Sam Scott. I miss dance, but I’m loving being home in the evenings so much! I also celebrated my one year anniversary to the greatest husband ever.

October:  We visited Tony’s mom, step-dad and sister in Colorado - fun times. My Uncle Pat died and I was reminded how short life is and how important family is. I was encouraged by what a great life he led as a dad with his faith and humor and hope that I’m living to leave a mark here for Christ as well.

November: The 08-09 season at TPAC began and so did my Friday night bonding times with my mom… oh how special they are. Even though we’ve had our rocky journey as mother and daughter through the years, I wouldn’t trade our moments together for anything. I hope to be a mom, friend, teacher and servant as she is. And of course Thanksgiving was full of new recipes and good times with friends and family.

December: My favorite time of year! Tony and I anxiously awaited the day to put up Christmas decorations and begin playing Christmas music. We had so much fun celebrating this special time together through shopping, planning, cooking, preparing, making lists, decorating, singing and going to lots and lots of parties.

And Now… We just got back from Paris (the one in France, yes). We didn’t really take any pictures, but have a ton of stories. What a city full of beauty, history, art and such good food. We did a lot, but I wished we could have stayed longer. But, it’s back to work and back to “normal life”.