Tony and I watched the movie MARTIAN CHILD last night. If you haven’t seen it, I would definitely recommend it. John Cusack is a widowed science fiction writer that decides to adopt a boy who believes he is from Mars. It is an interesting journey as John Cusack’s character falls in love with his new son and the boy learns how to adapt to this new world. I was touched at how they welcomed and adored one another’s oddities and so easily fit as a family. As Cusack desperately tries to encourage the boy (named Dennis) to try to learn the “rules of life” and not be quite so extraordinary while in public, Dennis asks, “Is it good to be like everyone else?” It’s a very good question indeed.

We all wrestle with the same question as this boy named Dennis.  Scripture reminds us in Psalm 139 that we were carefully and specifically created from the moment of conception; we are fearfully and wonderfully made. The same God who created the beauty of the sunset and the intricate formings of flowers, trees, and grass, the same God who tells the oceans when to rise and when to go back, the same God who ordains the lightening bolts and has perfected the laugh, didn’t make any mistakes when He created us.  So why are we so fearful in being too extraordinary?  We should learn social graces and adapt to common rules of living to help with interacting with those around us, but we should also be FREE in who we’ve been created to be!  So maybe you are a little obsessive compulsive, a germaphobe, terrified of spiders, passionate about singing at the top of your lungs (whether you’re any good or not), infatuated with art and theatre, find joy in creating your own fashion, think in mathematical terms, or can’t get enough of science or science fiction.  Be free.  Be yourself.  And enjoy how you’ve been created rather than trying to fit yourself into the typical common box.

Just as newspapers and magazines often have to print corrections to information, I was strongly encouraged to correct my last story as well.  Tony wants to be sure that you know that the Wednesday prior to his great illness, he expressed to me that he was coming down with something.  My response was, “No, you’re not.  You’re fine.”  I was proved wrong.

Also, in a previous post I mentioned that I am now the “in case of emergency” for Ruth’s precious girls.  However, she and her husband have been used as my in case of emergency FIRST.  While I was away, Tony needed transportation to and from the doctor, and I even had to use another couple to pick up his medication and check in on him from time to time.  How thankful I am for good friends!

That was a phrase I repeated over and over last Thursday night. I couldn’t have planned a more inconvenient time for Tony to get oh so ill. He awoke Thursday morning with a sore throat and mildly achey all over. I encouraged him to go to the doctor since the flu is so quickly spreading right now. He assured me he would be fine and he did slightly improve throughout the day. However, by 4 pm, he was feeling quite terrible, and beginning at 6, he couldn’t stop throwing up. He was in the worst, lowest state I had ever seen him, and the sounds he was making were indescribable. And so I began… “In sickness and in health…” I will stand by my man.

During all of this, I was getting ready (doing laundry, packing, etc.) for our annual high school retreat. I was leaving at 7 am Friday morning to set up. When I had gotten home from my ballet classes at 8 on Thursday, I had asked if he wanted me to find a clinic to take him to. It took him until 10:30 pm to become desperate for something, anything, to take away the misery. By that time, all that was open was the emergency room. I will admit that there are times that I mock the germ-a-phobe in my husband, but on this particular evening in the ER, I’ve never been so terrified to touch anything or even breathe in the air that was being shared between myself and so many sickly people.

I think we were finally called back to our very special curtain-enclosed 6 x 10 ft area around 2 am. I silently repeated in my exhaustion… “In sickness and in health…” His flu test came back negative, but they put him on an iv due to dehydration and gave him some meds to ease the pain and calm his nausea. I tried to find comfort in my hard, straight-back chair, and was able to close my eyes for a while, but the crying, moans, interesting conversations, and cart wheeling remained constant and prohibited me from completely falling into my REM. The doctors released Tony around 4:30 am, and we headed home. I did sleep in a little… getting a good 1.5 hours of sleep before my weekend with high school students.

I couldn’t imagine missing the weekend with our students, but it was even more difficult to leave my invalid home alone. I knew there was nothing I could really do for him apart from getting liquids and making sure he could make it to the bed, recliner, bathroom, and back. Again remembering… “In sickness and in health…” I am very thankful that it was only a viral infection, and nothing more serious. I think my main concern was that I was unable to fulfill my wifely compassionate care-taking, and it merely came out as insensitivity and frustration.  I was again reminded not only of my vows, but also of my selfishness and that I am now on a jouney WITH a wonderful partner.  For rich or poor, in sickness and in health, when times seem just right, and when we couldn’t be more irritating to one another… we’re parners… walking this road together… hand in hand.  How thankful I am also of a God who not only commands me to love, but shows me how.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed… obviously… you can read from a couple of posts prior to this. But my feelings of anxiety are not always due to tasks or circumstances. Sometimes I feel like even being a Christian is “too much.” Sometimes the RULES of holy living can be pretty daunting. Colossians tells us to put to death sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, greed, idolotry, anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language, and lies. We should clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love. And love in itself is described in 1 Corinthians 13 as being patient, kind, humble, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth; always protecting, trusting, hoping, persevering, and never fails. I look at the ten commandments and think I’ve got those covered (naturally, I’m not carving any wooden or golden image to worship, not going to murder, I have no desire to commit adultry, and I’m probably not going to steal any time soon), but keeping God first always, revering his name, keeping Sundays for worship, rest, and renewal, and not coveting what other people have can even be challenging. Whew! I’m so imperfect and have so much to change and improve! It’s enough at times to leave me a little hopeless and wanting to respond with, “Forget it; it’s impossible for me to live up to all that.”

However, I’ve come to realize in the last few days that it’s not about me. It’s not about my power, or me “upping” my game and trying even harder. Because of Christ, I’ve been given a new LIFE (2 Corinthians 5:17). And that life is meant to be lived in the FULL (John 10:10). In my new life, I am created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:24). What, me, holy and righteous? Absolutely! when I accept the LIFE Christ has given me and live ACCORDING to who I am. I will continue to mess up and be imperfect. I will continue to say the wrong thing and think about and do things I shouldn’t. But I can rest in knowing that God forgives those things and forgets. And where I am imperfect, He is MIGHTY. Where I can’t, He is ABLE. His GRACE is SUFFICIENT… period. 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells me that I can boast in my weaknesses, for it is those moments that the POWER of Christ is made known.

Lois Evans said, “We obey God so that we can cooperate with His work within us.” If I simply live life according to the CAUSE of Christ, my decisions will then be dictated by that. And what REST I find in that! It’s not about what I can and can’t do. It’s not about how I’m good or weak at something. It’s about accepting LIFE and going forward with POWER because of who God created me to be. If I am reflecting Christ, I will be loving earnestly, encouraging, showing humility, not judging, and fleeing temptation… because it’s not about me.

Last night during my 8-10 year old ballet class, one of my precious girls responded to some question that I had asked with, “Because you’re older…” I have no recollection of where that came from, and I know she wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. It became even funnier a few minutes later when I was encouraging them to go home and practice what we had learned so that they could help me remember next week. The same girl responded again with, “Because you’re older…” and we all had a big laugh.

My friend Emily just posted on her blog her list of things that make her realize she’s getting older. They are a bit different from mine, but the realization is coming just as quickly for me. For example, she has a dog (I’m really not a pet person) and will be celebrating 8 years with her husband this May (as you know, I haven’t even hit the 8 months mark yet). We are both in process of preparing for our 10 year high school reunion… which, yes, is very weird. We both own a home, cars, have to balance housework with errands, jobs, paying bills, planning meals and going grocery shopping… and the list can go on and on. I have to keep up with changing air filters and spraying the house for bugs (ok, that’s really Tony’s job around the house, but I help “remind” him). We have to be more responsible with purchases… just last weekend we thought we’d check out some new couches for the living room - you know, just beging pricing and seeing what’s out there. Yeah, nothing in our budget right now, so we’ll keep lounging on our 20 year old hand-me-down furniture quite happily. We did immediately fall in love with a piece of artwork in the furniture store. I think we sat and gazed at it for 15 -20 minutes, trying to figure out where we could hang it. Unfortunately, because of my love of art, I already have several pieces occupying my walls, so there just isn’t a place for it. We even toyed with the idea of purchasing it and keeping it in storage until we get a bigger house (at least 5 years down the road, F.Y.I.). It was difficult to walk away, but we had to make an ADULT decision. I take a disappointed deep breath even now as I think of how wonderful it was and how perfectly the colors fit our home. Ahh… responsibility.

And, I have now officially become someone’s “In case of emergency” person. I’m honored, and realize yet again that it’s “because I’m older.” My dear friend Ruth informed me that during a doctor’s visit with her youngest, Madie, she completed that section of her doctor’s form with my name and information. Ahh… responsibility. I feel very priviledged to be that person in the Meyer family. I gladly accept.

So although Emily ended her list with the acknowledgement that the Karate Kid (a favorite movie of hers while growing up) is now a classic played on AMC… I might choose to end my list with the fact that the Cosby Show, Full House, Saved by the Bell, and Home Improvement are now the old reruns on Nick At Nite. Ahh… the good old days. What fun to look back, and what excitement for all that’s still ahead that will come “because I’m older…”

that all I really do is close my eyes and hope to keep holding on until I’m through. “Through what?” you may ask. Well, this is one of those phases that everything is happening at once. I think most everything we could have planned in our department, as well as the church as a whole, has been planned in these two weeks. We begin tomorrow night with our big outreach events for middle and high school (first time to have them both on the same night). Move on to Friday, when we will be attending Romance and Roses, a great “date night” event by our marriage and family ministry. Sunday through Tuesday is the Sacred Gathering - a call to fasting and prayer - for our church. Next Wednesday will kick off a new worship series for the students, and then next weekend we take our high school students on their spring retreat. I have tickets to shows at TPAC both weekends, and Tony and I will be starting our own small group for the first time. (Also throw in that it will be Tony and my first Valentine’s Day to figure out how to spend together as a married couple.) All of these things are things that I’ve been anxiously awaiting. They are all wonderful and I can’t wait to be a part of each one; however, a little bit of stress is coming with the collison of them happening all at once.

But, as I sit here at my desk (at work)… eating my third meal here today… I feel as if I’m going to make it. I don’t think I’ll have to close my eyes. I sure don’t want to miss the enjoyment and how God is going to move over the next several days. Galatians 6:9 yet again reminds me to keep doing good, for there will be a reward in the end. Colossians 3:23 and 1 Corinthians 10:31 tell me to work with all of my heart at whatever I do for GOD… I’m made for His purpose, His glory. So I’ll take a deep breath, shut down my computer, head to the YMCA for my 2 mile run, and then to the dance studio to teach my weekly classes.