Ever Feel Like You’re “Faking It”?
I had someone ask me this question several weeks ago… and for whatever reason thought about it again this morning while getting ready for work. I remember when I was a senior in high school… I had learned HOW to be a good Christian. I knew what one should look like, talk like, sign up for (retreats, Bible studies, leadership seminars, etc.) and could put on a good face. One of my best friends called me late one night and played for me Scott Kryppane’s No More Pretending. I couldn’t remember any other lyrics to the song except that one, so I decided to look them up.
I can look good when I want to
I know the right things to say
I cover up what I don’t want you to see
But you see it anyway
Maybe I think I can fool you
Maybe I’m fooling myself
I want to change but I don’t know how
And I need your help
Chorus
No more pretending
No more pretending
Lord, I know I need to tell you the truth tonight
But everything is not alright in my life
And I need you like never before
I don’t want to pretend anymore
I’m tired of hiding my weakness
I’m tired of trying to look strong
I don’t want to say that everything’s fine
When there’s so much that’s wrong
Tell me again that you love me
Though it’s more than my heart understands
And I will lay down my disguises
And show You who I am
Another friend told me once that he believed that as a result of all my dance and performance training, I learned how to be fake: how to put on a believable smile and make people believe what I wanted them to. I don’t know that I want dance and theatre to get a bad rep… I think we all learn through different means how to put up a believable front… how to be whoever anyone wants us to be in order to keep up. And what a hard thing it is to be REAL… real with yourself, with others, and most especially with God. I think it’s a continual process and goal for me to keep my faith, actions, and words AUTHENTIC. And really, the more honest I am about everything, the more comfortable I am in my own skin. No Christian is perfect. We all have weaknesses, hurts, needs and fears. The more we try to pretend to be great, the less we allow God to be great. The more we try to pretend to have it all together, the less we get to learn, grow, and mature. The more we try to pretend to not have worries and shortcomings, the less we get to experience of the rich, abuntant, and full life God has for us! So next time you feel like you need to put on a good face and be more perfect than you really are, take a deep breath and sit down with a good friend to pray through whatever you may be facing. And I will promise to do the same.
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